Nurturing Parent and Child Wellbeing ~ A Home-Schooling Guide
“If things start happening, don’t worry, don’t stew, just go right along and you’ll start happening too.”~ Dr. Seuss
2020 has gone in a direction that I don’t think any of us could possibly have predicted. It feels like every part of our ‘normal’ lives has been turned on it’s head and we’re working day to day to manage and apply new information coming through that can alter any sense of routine we have. This is challenging as an adult, let alone as a child, to process.
For kids, one of the biggest disruptions to their normal routine has been the transition from a school to a home learning environment. Mentally, physically, socially and emotionally this can have a huge impact on a child's health and wellbeing, which is why my advice to all families would be to make mental health and overall wellbeing the number 1 priority above anything else, including curriculum.
Parents are now not only being asked to be full time parents at home, but also to be full time teachers. It’s a challenging ask of parents and kids, however, I have put together some suggestions and resources (see links throughout) to make the switch from parent to teacher as smooth and anxiety-free for everybody.
Making the switch from parent to teacher
Have open and honest conversations with them
Keeping your child informed and helping them understand what’s going on can help to ease their anxiety about the changes. Remind them that this is not permanent and that the changes are there to keep them safe and healthy, as well as look after the people they care about. It’s also important not to keep the news going on repeat or continually keep it in conversation. Keep a positive tone and take as many steps as possible to make them feel safe emotionally and physically. Help them to understand what is under their control, for example, practising good hygiene by washing hands, adhering to social distancing when in public places, staying home to protect themselves and others, etc. Keep their mindset focused on the positives that can be taken from this time, for example, extra time to spend with family, playing games, reading, helping in the kitchen, learning new skills, etc.
Set up a learning Space together
Children are used to their home environment being a place away from school. It’s a place to play, unwind and enjoy free time. There will be an adjustment period where they have to learn to code switch between ‘school time’ and ‘home time’ in the same environment - challenging! A good way to do this is to create a space in your home that creates the best opportunity for learning, away from potential distractions and not in heavy family traffic areas.
Set up a suitable and comfortable working space or room. Let your kids have input on the design of their working space so that they can take some ownership and pride in it. Equip the space with all the resources they will need such as stationary, workbooks, computer/laptop/powerpoint for charging, etc. Allow them to add their own fun, but suitable touches - for example, allowing some music to play quietly in the background as they work or diffusing some calming essential oils.
Keep a similar routine to school
Use your child’s classroom subject timetable to create a similar routine at home with session times. Print out a timetable and stick it in a place your child can see as they work. Make them aware that each day starts with spelling, for example, and that after morning tea break it’s writing followed by mathematics. This will ease your workload too, when your child is able to start organising themselves without needing your direction or a disagreement.
Agree on a set of fair rules to work effectively between ‘school’ time and ‘home’ time
At the start of every school year, most teachers will create an agreed set of classroom rules with their students that get displayed in the classroom. Allowing the students to set what they deem as fair rules, gives them ownership and also allows you to enforce the rules more easily and fairly. Creating a set of rules together will help them to context switch between ‘home time’ and ‘learning time’ more easily and with less resistance.
Gradual Implementation
Remember that in the space of a few weeks kids whole lives have changed. We can’t expect them to transition into a full time homeschooling environment without some challenges and potential resistance. Give plenty of break times for play, discussion and time to process. Keep communication flowing and encourage them to be open about their needs educationally and mentally.
Don’t pretend to ‘know it all”
Kids are smart. They are aware you’re not a teacher, so coming into the new learning environment in an authority or ‘know it all’ manner, will most likely result in a backlash of resistance, frustration, anger and other defiant behavioural issues. Make it clear that you’re doing the best you can and that whilst you may not be their normal teacher, you are there to support them and learn together. Be honest about how this situation is challenging for you too! Children appreciate being spoken to on the same level and seeing you share your own vulnerability will most likely encourage them to let their own walls down and share the real reasons behind their anger - that they are scared and unsure about these unprecedented times and that more than ever, they just need your love, understanding and support, not an authority version of you trying to enforce a new way of life overnight.
Consider your Learning Style - Gardner’s Multiple Intelligences
All children and adults have different ways of learning that they respond better to. For example, a lot of people find they learn faster with a hands on approach to tasks, whilst others may do better working independently or in group settings. Our preferences are often called our ‘Intelligences’ thanks to the work of Howard Gardner who developed the Multiple Intelligences Learning Model. This model allows students and teachers to identify with the methods of learning that best resonate with them. Teachers can teach their students to accommodate for these differences and students can better communicate and apply their understanding in the ways that help them to thrive. Watch the Multiple Intelligences video at this link with your kids and have a discussion about which intelligences best describe each of you! It’s a great conversation to discuss differences and will be a hugely valuable tool in helping your child learn to better communicate not only with their educators, but also their peers, and family. It’s a hugely valuable life tool that I still use today!
As a parent and teacher, you can look at the ways to nurture your child’s intelligence strength areas, and also at the ways to further develop their weaker areas through specific activities, such as those mentioned in the video link.
Find Learning Experiences in the home environment
The home environment can provide a multitude of rich and meaningful learning experiences. Look for opportunities to tie regular home activities into multiple learning area activities. For example, using cooking as an example, look at all the ways you can integrate the multiple learning areas:
Maths - Measurement, shopping lists and budgeting, fractions (portion sizes);
English - Reading, Spelling, Procedure writing;
IT - Typing a recipe, adding imagery, and formatting;
HASS - Cultural cuisines
Health - Macro and Micro Nutrients in foods
Get creative with other home learning experiences and challenge your creativity as to how many ways you can cross-integrate across the learnings areas. Consider what kind of learner your child is by exploring the Multiple Intelligence link above, and look at all of the ways you can make your ideas relatable to their learning preferences. This will benefit both of you, when they are fully engaged and having fun, and you aren’t forcing an approach that causes resistance to learning.
communicating effectively with schools and teachers
Teachers have their work cut out for them at the moment too! We are trained to deliver lessons in person, and with very minimal time, we’ve been asked to convert an entire learning curriculum and assessment system to an online platform. It’s a task that should take months of preparation that has needed to be done in a matter of days. Teachers are stressed, parents are stressed - we are all trying our best after being thrown in the deep end! Remember this before communicating with your child’s teachers, especially if you are frustrated. Approach all communication with compassion and understanding, remembering that they are feeling all of the things you are too and that at the end of the day, you both have the same intended outcome, which is to look after our kids education and help them feel safe and supported.
If your child is struggling with the content, ask questions and let your teacher know what specific elements aren’t being understood so they can re-direct the learning.
If your child is struggling mentally to get through the suggested activities/assessments/workload, tell them! Mental health has to be the first priority and teachers should be understanding of this at a time like this. Remember that the workload they have set is a guideline, not the golden rulebook. Have your child attempt what they can, with the help you can offer and communicate where there are gaps.
Use technology to support your child’s learning. Most of the platforms allow students to share photos, videos, and discussion immediately. As they complete tasks, have them take a picture of it and post it to the platform for teachers to view and give feedback on. This will keep your teacher informed about what’s working and what isn’t, to better cater for the learning needs of your child, making modifications as required. As well as keeping teachers informed about your child’s progress, it is also a fantastic way to keep your child connected with their school friends and teachers, bringing a sense of normality to the learning environment.
priority #1 nurturing your children’s wellbeing
One of my friends was telling me about her 8 year old son and how the recent COVID situation has impacted his mental health by causing him to become extremely anxious and emotional. His dad had to go back to FIFO work for a longer than normal stint, he couldn’t play with his friend who lived next door anymore, he couldn’t see his Nanna because she was high risk, and suddenly his Mum was his teacher and he wasn’t allowed to go to school anymore. She didn’t realise just how he had been internalising all of this until one afternoon when she went to the shed to get something, he burst into tears sobbing uncontrollably to his brother when he couldn’t find his Mum. “I was scared something had happened to you Mum”, he said. The poor little guy was so anxious and unsure about what was happening and on further discussion with his Mum, she discovered he was scared that the people he loved were going to die.
Children look up to their parents as their protectors who can keep them safe. When they can see that even their parents don’t have all the answers to this situation and are just as unsure as they are, it is unsettling to say the least. It is so important that you talk to your children and check in with them regularly to see how they are feeling and if there’s any questions they might have. You might not have the answers, but talking to them about it at least allows them to release the mental and emotional load of what they are holding onto. Assure them that these changes are there to keep the people we love safe and healthy. It’s also a good opportunity to develop skills of resiliency, helping children to become aware that all throughout life we are faced with different challenges that we can’t always control, and that during these times it is important to focus on the things we can control, rather than we cannot. The first thing we can control in this situation is our mindset around it. We can focus on the fear based negatives of the situation that only breed more fear and uncertainty, or we can focus on all of the positives we can gain from a temporary slower paced life. It is a great time to start a gratitude practice, which will help your kids remain focused on all of the beautiful positives. Start with a discussion before bed time by picking 3 things you’re grateful for. If they hear you sharing in the practice as well, it will encourage them to look for the things they are grateful for too. Lead by example.
Look for as many ways as possible to create fun, laughter, and closeness in the home environment. Do some of the things you wouldn’t normally have time for in the busyness of our old routines. For example, board games, cooking, painting, craft, music, dancing, dress-ups, learning a new skill, reading as a family, gardening, DIY projects, etc. A lot of these types of fun activities can also become valuable learning experiences too! Look for ways to integrate learning in fun, hands on and interactive ways to the home environment. There can be a lot of opportunities in an experience that asks us to slow down the pace of our normal lives.
Create a sensory happy place at home by playing calm and upbeat music, diffusing relaxing oils, keeping positive things on the TV when it’s on (don’t keep the news going on repeat!), setting up a safe space for outdoor play, trying new and familiar yummy recipes to share, and monitoring the time spent on devices.
looking after your own wellbeing
Finally, don’t forget that children look up to adults as role models. Looking after your own well-being during this time is equally as important as looking after your children’s. Model to them the example you want them to follow. Take steps to show self care and respect every day, even if it is just by eating healthy foods, continuing to move your body everyday or finding fun and joy in every opportunity you can. Check out the Self Care Scorecard here and consider some of the ways you could be demonstrating a positive picture of self care to your kids.
Sending love, courage and positivity to everyone during this challenging time. Remember that this will pass and that our health and wellbeing is always our number 1 priority. Be kind and patient with one another as we are all doing the best we can.
Love Danae
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